


Letting the Poison Out of the Stone

by Entwife_Incognito



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Communication, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship/Love, Love, No Sex, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 05:13:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8476672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Entwife_Incognito/pseuds/Entwife_Incognito
Summary: A dialogue between Jane and Lisbon, who have loved each other for a very long time but have wandered lost, maybe finding each other again. One-shot first posted on Tumblr, but re-worked here. I’m a little obsessed with making Jane and Lisbon actually talk to one another, since we don’t see it in the show! G with one bad word. NO SEX. Disclaimer: I own nothing about The Mentalist.Posted at FFnet on March 12, 2014. Now here with minor edits for readability.





	

"You're just going to let me go?" Lisbon spoke softly, not looking at Jane, fingering something on her desk as she stood next to her chair.  


"I thought it's what you wanted. No matter how it seems . . . I do want you to be happy." His shoes made abrupt scraping sounds on the floor as he tried to stop his feet in the midst of a sudden agitation of confusion.  


"And you won't even fight for me?"  


Jane's head came up sharply, but she still didn't look at him. Was she being coy? Playing games with him? He wasn't up to it. "You told me you wanted me out of your life."  


"I never said that."  


He cocked his head as if listening to a playback. "Didn't you? I'm pretty sure you did."  


"Your memory palace is out of context."

Jane slowly shook his head. "How much room for interpretation is there in, 'What makes you think I want to work with you again?' or 'Maybe I don't want to put the rest of my life on hold to be your sidekick?' or 'Let's get this case wrapped up so I can go home?'" Repeating those words, just thinking them made his heart feel like a stone, dead and full of poison.  


Lisbon had nothing to say to that.  


Jane turned away.  


"I meant it."  


"I know. It's my operating principle. I'm trying to adjust my behavior to make you comfortable enough to stay." Even if I don't get to see you and you find love with another man. Jane was sure he would now choke and pass out. He had to sit down. Where was the closest seat? He started noticing where he was in the room for the first time since the conversation started.  


"You have. You've adjusted, but . . ." Lisbon cleared her throat and looked up at Jane for the first time since the conversation started. His back was to her. "Is it your job to make me comfortable?"  


When he turned, Lisbon saw the confusion in his hurt eyes, the solemn ones with no more joy and very little life. She watched him flop into a nearby chair, sighing deeply as if it had taken all his energy.  


"I didn't mean to take your balls." The sexual implications made her a little uncomfortable, but she did not correct her statement.  


"Forget my balls. That's the least of it." Sexual tension was now palpable between them. Not the time for it. "It's my heart you have. My balls take second place."  


Lisbon blushed brightly.  


Teresa had never introduced potential sexuality into their conversations. "And since when are you concerned about them?"  


"I know you haven't been blind to my interest all this time." There. Confession was good for the soul. If he was struggling about . . . possibilities, he should know.  


"I've seen no evidence of it since our first . . . warm . . . greeting after I got back." Jane's smile was sweet as he looked into her eyes. "Our hug . . ."  


"I had to establish myself here . . . as being separate from you. People assumed things. Probably still assume them."  


"Yeah." But you didn't have to stab me in the heart.  


Lisbon saw his hurt frown and felt irritated that he wouldn't understand how that undermined her position on the team-- in the agency. "What's that supposed to mean, Jane?"  


"Nothing. Forget about it."  


"No. Say what you have to say." She squared her shoulders to make herself ready.  


"I don't have to say . . . anything." The hurt inside him defended itself against her defensive stance. Jane shook his head . . . silly impasse.  


"Now you're being stubborn."  


"I'm not." His voice grew very quiet. "I'm being hurt."  


"I don't want to hurt you now. I, I never wanted to hurt you . . . I just . . ."  


Eyes narrowed, he tried to deflect the pain back inside so that Lisbon wouldn't see it. That let the anger show. "I'm sorry. It doesn't turn on and off by what you want."  


"Look. I'm sorry for what happened, how I worded things. I'm trying to talk to you now." Lisbon walked to the front of her desk and leaned against it, closer to him. "You put me in a really tough spot. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings."  


"If?"  


"That. That I hurt your feelings. I was mad. You overstepped. Big time." Her face pitched deep red as she looked at her feet. "It was unfair of me. You had no way to check with me beforehand. You were taking a gamble with your life and freedom. For me. I should have thought of that. I shouldn't have said those things to you that way." She lifted her head to look at him. "Sure, I needed to get some things straight with you, but . . . I should have tried to clear things up before now."  


Did it matter how she said things now? She was with someone else. "Let's cut to the chase. You're dating someone. Are you saying you want me to make a play for you?"  


'Make a play?' Lisbon tried to imagine it . . . exciting . . . fun. Physical. Kissing. "Would it hurt? What happened to the guy who nearly came out of his skin when he thought Ardiles was flying to Houston for a date with me?"  


"Yeah . . . well . . . maybe he was trying to ease his way in with those tasseled loafers!" Business designed to become personal! But it did seem funny, now. A small, sheepish smile shaped his lips.  


Adorable. But they weren't finished talking. "The point being, you've had no such reaction to me dating Pike. Why?"  


"Things seem different now. I'm trying to stay out of your way. You seem to like not having me around. We're not really partners anymore, never work cases. I don't know your life anymore, you anymore." God, he was getting depressed again with this talk. "You chose to date this guy. I guess he really likes you. Who wouldn't? Ardiles was just a business date, anyway."  


"Now you finally get that, God rest his poor soul." Lisbon crossed herself.  


"And I've had time to think. What would it get me, to make a fuss about Pike?"  


Jane felt trapped? "I don't know . . . maybe . . . what you want?"  


"Or you saying I'm trying to control your life."  


"I guess it's fair for you to say that." She frowned. "A little mean. But fair. Look, Jane . . . isn't it a good thing for both of us to keep this issue in mind? I think it's already helped . . . now that we're talking openly about what's really been going on. I'm glad to know what you've been thinking and feeling--."  


Jane blurted, "What if we hit it off?"  


"What if we did?" Something tight in Lisbon's breathing let go and she sighed. It felt good. Maybe Jane could begin to imagine . . . them.  


"Wouldn't you be conflicted? Resist me? Toss me out on the first hint that I might not change enough?"  


"You're not willing to risk that?"  


"No! What I have now is better than never being allowed to see you again."  


"I would never do that, anyway . . . that, that 'first hint' thing. That's not me, and you know it. I would be alright as long as I saw you were trying and progressing." Now she looked right into his eyes, a little heat in her cheeks. "You've done it before, you know. When you chose to be my real partner, instead of trusting Lorelei."  


"Yes. Sometimes it's impossible to remember . . . that vision . . . of what we used to be to each other."  


Lisbon smiled. 'Vision' was a future word. "But I would never shut you out completely."  


"No?"  


"Never in a million years."  


"I'm sure Pike will love that news." Jane's smirk was not amusement.  


"It's not his business." Marcus didn't control her.  


"But . . . when it is . . . "  


"It will never be his business who is a part of my life."  


"He won't like that."  


"He doesn't."  


"You've talked about me . . . to him . . ."  


"He's noticed . . . things." Jane was surely the reason for Marcus' no-pressure pressure.  


"Is he dumping you?" Jane rose from his chair, red-faced and his fists balled tight, his voice growing louder. "Because he's just stupid if he lets you go!"  


"You've let me go."  


Jane froze momentarily, his lips parted in surprise at Lisbon's simple statement. "I haven't. I mean, I have." He ran his hand through his hair, grasping tight. "I mean . . . I don't want to. I had to let you go . . . in order to keep what I can have of you." Good grief. What pop-psych tripe!  


"Don't! You'll pull those pretty curls out." Lisbon smiled indulgently, her heart touched by the implications, the desperation, of Jane's distress. "You're going to need them when you get old."  


"I'll never get older than I am now." He needed a hideaway and a nap!  


They both let the comment drop.  


Lisbon spoke first. "I was hoping you'd be happy. Happy that maybe you had a chance. I mean, that _we_ have a chance."  


"Do I?" His voice cracked and his mouth fell loosely open with tethered hope. "Do we?"  


"If anyone does, you do."  


"But what about Pike?"  


Turning Marcus loose . . . right now? She acknowledged her resistance. "Maybe he has a chance, too."  


"Especially if I blow it." Pike was Teresa's safe bet. She deserved better than that! But he could understand her hesitation to turn Pike loose.  


"You'd have to try pretty hard to blow it, at this point."  


Teresa is a treasure. I can't blow this. "I'm pretty stupid."  


"No. Just headstrong and impulsive. And maybe a bit narcissistic. And selfish. But not with me. You have a very good heart. At least for me."  


"I certainly don't have a heart for anyone else."  


"No. You don't, do you?"  


"I owe Pike thanks if he's trying to push you towards me . . . by trying so hard to . . . corral you . . . hold you."  


"That's not exactly it. But, yeah. You push me towards him with your silence. And he pushes me towards you, trying to cut you out before I can know how you feel. A bit different from what a woman really fantasizes. Two guys avidly after her."  


"I can be avid."  


Lisbon actually chuckled. "That's good. Because I really need it."  


"It makes you my 'sidekick.' I don't think you would want it."  


"If it works, it would make me your girlfriend, maybe more . . . not your sidekick. I can handle it. Besides . . . I don't think anyone really thinks that now. Because . . . well . . ." She blushed, thinking how openly affectionate she and Marcus had been at work.  


But Jane wasn't thinking about Pike. "Girlfriend? You want to be my girlfriend?" His breath died in his throat as something thumped hard in his chest. Did his heart just start to beat again?  


"Maybe. To start. I want you to try to be my . . . boyfriend. I know you want to. I see your sad little heart looking at me through your stormy eyes, Patrick. I've known you and loved you in some capacity for more than twelve years. How would I not know your moods, suspect your feelings? Your silence about them . . . that's what hurt . . . not knowing for sure."  


"I got your feelings wrong . . . that's why I kept my feelings to myself."  


Lisbon nodded. Moving on . . . "So, let me be the smart one, for once."  


"You _are_ the smart one, Teresa. If it works between us, you just made my life. I'll do my best . . . but . . . "  


"If you're not perfect?"  


"Yes. I won't be."  


"And you think I will be?"  


Jane shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. "If you came to love me . . . that would be perfect. Anything else doesn't matter."  


"Then it's perfect. Because I already love you. I just told you that it will never go away or be tossed aside, nor will you. Never. If it can grow into something more, something wonderful between us, I don't know. But if you-- we don't try . . . "  


"What about Pike? If he's not pushing you towards me, what is?"  


"I'll be honest, Jane. I'm a little confused right now. I like Marcus. A lot. But when I get . . . warm feelings for him, something doesn't feel right. He knows something's . . . not quite right."  


"Oh. I'm surprised that I'm really sorry about that, Lisbon." His face showed concern, even chagrin.  


Lisbon was shocked! She was expecting to see tamped-down glee on Jane's face! "Uh, er . . . thank you, Jane. I didn't expect that."  


"I can see why you wouldn't. But I do want you happy more than anything. No matter what I want."  


Did he even realize what he was saying? Lisbon didn't think so. He looked so lost. He was changing right before her eyes. Like he did years ago, determined to become her real partner. She smiled softly, almost to herself as she let a small bubble of joy course through her. Just a small one.  


Jane watched Lisbon drift in some secret pleasant reverie. She was so beautiful and even radiant, in a soft low-humming way. It almost hurt to look at her. Jesus, Patrick! She's waving you in! What kind of asshole are you? But . . . "What about Pike?"  


"He knows the score. I'm still dating him." Lisbon held up a hand as Jane took a deep breath to speak. "Not sleeping with him, Jane." What was the right balance point? "If it gets to the point of . . . well . . . something more between us, you and me or me and him, then maybe we have to regroup. But until then, you're not out of my system, Patrick, not by a long shot."  


Patrick decided to answer Teresa's flag. "In that case, what are you doing Friday night?" Marcus Pike was toast!  


Teresa's eyes were bright with pleasure. "As it so happens, Patrick, I'm free."


End file.
